This Isn't the Way
by WhimsicalWriter4
Summary: S3E2 Wanheda Part 2: After Bellamy fails to rescue Clarke from Roan, she is taken to Polis. But what happens to Bellamy?
1. Chapter 1

"We can't…lose Clarke," Bellamy ground out, wobbling even on his good leg. He met Monty's gaze, and the words just came out, "I can't lose her."

"We'll find her, ok?" Monty assured him. "We'll figure something out, I promise."

The way he said it, Bellamy actually believed it. Not that they would save her, but that Monty understood Bellamy's desperation and the urgent need to find Clarke. He could feel Kane, Pike, and Monty's mom watching him. They didn't understand.

Clarke wasn't just a friend or even their leader. She was that and a symbol and, well, she was his princess and after everything he wasn't sure what to do if she never came back.

"This isn't the way," Monty continued.

Bellamy didn't know how to argue. Rain and tears made it hard to see, and the blow to the head made it hard to stand straight, and that didn't even account for the hole in his leg. "Ok," he barely got out.

Monty pulled Bellamy upright, and it was all he could do to keep from crying out. It was going to be a very unpleasant rover ride.

Bellamy sat in the back of the rover on the floor, almost grateful for every time his head thunked against the wall behind him.

She'd been gone for so long, left him to face the ghost of what they'd done—alone. He'd been angry, but seeing her tied up like that, all that anger had disappeared and he just wanted her to be safe.

All things considered, she'd looked good. But didn't she always?

Kane shifted, so he was further from the others, closer to Bellamy. "Recognize her capturer?"

"No. Clearly Ice Nation."

"Anything you can tell me?"

"He was big and had a sword?"

Kane did not look amused. "We _will_ find her, Bellamy. We just can't right now, especially with your leg."

"I _did_ find her," Bellamy countered.

"And then you got yourself stabbed. You should have waited for us."

"If I waited, she would've been gone."

"She _is_ gone."

"Damn it, Kane, you think I don't know that?" Bellamy snapped. "You haven't been here long, so you don't get it. That's not just Clarke Griffin. That's not just one more person in medical, or Abby's daughter. She's the only person who the Grounders negotiate with. We _need_ her alive!"

"I'm aware," Kane said calmly. "But right now there's nothing I can do."

"You can go after—ngh!"

"Sorry," Monty called from the front seat. "It's a bit rocky here."

"Bellamy, put your hand on—you're bleeding out, Bellamy, pay attention," Kane snapped.

But everything had lost its urgency, and even though he remained conscious of all going on around him, Bellamy had no desire, or ability, to respond.

Bellamy heard Kane shouting at him. He felt the pressure on his leg and saw the blinding white flash it created.

It wasn't that he didn't care—he did. It wasn't that he couldn't feel the pain—he definitely could. It was just that he didn't have the strength to move. It was all he could do to keep his eyes open.

"Monty, drive!" Kane. "He's bleeding out. I have no idea how much blood he lost before we arrived, but it must have been a lot."

"I'm driving as fast as I can." Monty, tense.

"Make him lay down so you can elevate his leg above his heart." A woman's voice. Monty's mom.

"I'm not sure he'll fit." Kane. "He's pretty tall."

"Here, let me help." Pike, the one who had refused to even _try_ to track Clarke's trail.

Bellamy felt himself being moved, felt his leg being lifted, and every. Single. Bump the rover hit.

"Bellamy, can you hear me?" Kane again. Who put him in charge, anyway? Even Monty had more Earth experience than Kane.

"Yeah, I hear you."

"Good. You need to stay awake until we can get you to Abby."

Abby. Clarke's mom. Bellamy was in no particular hurry to face that woman and tell her he'd failed to rescue her daughter. Or that she was being hunted.

Or that she was the Commander of Death.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey all! I hope you're enjoying the story thus far. When I watched this episode it just seemed like something big had been left out. As nearly all writers here do, I appreciate any reviews you might want to leave. Thanks!

* * *

Abby frowned. Where was the search party? They'd been gone much longer than expected, and it was starting to worry her. They didn't really have the resources (or knowledge) to send a search party after the original one.

"Nothing?" she asked again.

"No ma'am," the guard responded. "You'll be the first to know."

Abby sighed. "I'm sorry. I know you'll report. Everything is just so eerily peaceful, and it's starting to worry me."

The guard shrugged. "I'd recommend enjoying it while you can."

"Maybe I'll go over the supplies again," she proposed. "That might be good. If something's coming we should—"

"Movement in the trees on the west side," the guard reported into a radio.

Abby spun around, eyes riveted on the trees in desperate hope. Sure enough, they were shifting. "Too big to be people," she observed.

The guard nodded tersely, using the sight on his rifle as binoculars.

Abby glanced down at the gun. Good the safety was on and the guard's finger was nowhere near the trigger. Bellamy had trained his men well.

"Rover headed for the gate," the guard reported. "It's moving fast."

"This is Chancellor Kane," a new voice crackled over the radio. "Open the gate immediately. We have a medical emergency."

"That's me," Abby acknowledged with a sigh.

"Later, ma'am."

But she was already too far away to hear.

When the rover stopped, Monty sprang out of the driver's seat and rushed to open the rear doors. "It's Bellamy," he gasped as he dashed past Abby.

The door swung open, and Abby let Kane pull her in. "What happened?" she asked, knees slipping on the bloody floor.

"Grounder stabbed him in the thigh," Kane reported, steadying her with a hand at her waist. "None of us were there, so we don't know when or with what or how much blood he lost."

Abby took it all in even while placing a hand on Bellamy's clammy face. He was unnaturally pale, and his normally-curly hair was plastered to his head by sweat. "It's bad, but he should be fine," she said after a moment. "Monty, drive this thing as close as you can get to medical. The less we move him the better."

The doors shut with Abby inside.

"Bellamy, I need you to tell me what happened," Abby ordered.

"Clarke," Bellamy moaned.

"Is he delirious? How long?"

"She said…not to kill me," Bellamy continued. "He stabbed…my knife. Hurts. Bad."

"I don't understand." Abby turned to Kane. "What's he talking about?"

"Bellamy went after Clarke alone," Kane began. The rover lurched to a stop. "I'll let him explain. Might be a good distraction."

Abby jumped down from the rover.

Jackson hurried over. "What do you need?"

"A cot, bandages, cleaning supplies, something to cut with, and my stitching kit. Also, fluids."

By the time they got Bellamy to the cot Jackson had prepared, he was fully conscious and absolutely miserable.

"Cut his pants off," Abby directed as she grabbed what she needed.

"Wait, what?" Bellamy panicked.

"I have no idea how we'll get them off without causing more bleeding, unless we cut them," Abby explained calmly. "We'll find you a new pair later."

"Just hold still," Jackson recommended as he set to work.

Bellamy wouldn't have considered doing anything else.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Abby asked gently.

"Long or short version?" Bellamy asked, gritting his teeth.

"Long. I'm afraid you'll need it."

"Fair enough," Bellamy acknowledged.

"Jackson, once you've finished with his pants, please get some fluids in him. He's very dehydrated, and the blood loss isn't helping matters."

"On it."

"The Grounders call Clarke Wanheda, the Commander of, _ugh_ , Death," Bellamy began.

"Try to focus on the story," Abby recommended as she continued to clean blood from around the wound. If she couldn't see it, it would be a lot harder to treat.

"If you kill Wanheda, you get her power," Bellamy continued.

"Bellamy, I need your wrist," Jackson interrupted.

Bellamy held it out, barely glancing at the needle in Jackson's hand. His main concern was the painful tugging he felt every time Abby wiped at more blood. How had he possibly bled that _much_?"

"This might be hard," Jackson remarked after probing Bellamy's hand and wrist with his fingers. "You're pretty low on fluids."

"So the Grounders, particularly Ice Nation, is hunting Clarke," Bellamy went on, determined to handle this better than he had the rover ride. "OW!" he jerked his arm away from Jackson.

"I might've hit a nerve," Jackson admitted sheepishly.

"Do an AC site," Abby recommended. "He really needs fluids. Otherwise you can always try the foot or the head, but those are last resorts, especially considering the injury."

The _head_? Bellamy wasn't so sure he was ok with this anymore.

"Arm," Jackson requested, holding out his hand.

Bellamy gave him a distrusting glance but obeyed, glad Jackson hadn't asked for something different. He flinched a little when the needle went in just above his elbow, but it was the least of his concerns.

"What were you stabbed with?" Abby asked.

"My knife. All the way up to the hilt."

Abby frowned. "That's deep. Was it clean?"

He shook his head guiltily.

"Dude." Jackson just shook his head.

"What?"

"Keep talking," Abby instructed, turning to the supply cart Jackson had rolled over.

"I saw Clarke and tried to save her from an Ice Nation warrior and failed," Bellamy blurted out. "That's all I have. I'm sorry I couldn't save her."

Abby kept her face neutral. "Right now, my goal is to save you. We can talk about saving Clarke later."

Bellamy was _not_ looking forward to later. "It's just a scratch. Stitches maybe?"

"Sure, after I figure out how deep it is, if anything important was hit, and clean it out," Abby agreed tersely. "This is a lot more than a scratch, Bellamy. You're lucky Kane got you here when he did. Much longer, and we probably wouldn't be talking."

"But Clarke—"

"Lie back and don't move," Abby ordered. "This is going to hurt like hell."

Bellamy did as he was told, not overly concerned. He'd been through worse.

"Jackson." Abby gestured, and Jackson knelt on the cot, his legs pressing down on Bellamy's un-injured leg while his hands held the injured leg above the wound.

Bellamy squirmed uncomfortably. Jackson's hands reminded him of a game kids had played on the Ark. "Can you survive the seven seas?" someone would ask before starting. Bellamy had never made it very far.

"Still," Abby ordered before her hands came down on his wound.

Bellamy grunted but didn't say anything.

"Judging by location, if it's any deeper than my ring finger, we're going to have a whole new set of problems," she said to Jackson.

Jackson nodded, but Bellamy didn't hear the reply. He was too busy screaming as Abby pushed her fingers deep into the wound. He felt her fingers moving around and struggled to free himself from Jackson's grip.

Bellamy knew he should hold still, knew it was probably a good thing he was weak from blood loss, knew Abby wouldn't cause any more pain than was necessary. But knowing and acting upon what he knew was not a connection he was capable of making at the moment.

Abby removed her fingers, leaving Bellamy gasping and whimpering like a small child. He wanted to curl up in a ball and hide from the world, particularly Clarke's mom. Surely he was stronger than this.

Abby wiped her fingers on a clean rag, using another to staunch the newly increased bleeding she'd caused. She did her best to ignore Bellamy's moan as she applied pressure, but it was hard.

Abby Griffin wasn't a big fan of Bellamy Blake, but he was still human, and he was still suffering, and she was still a doctor. And hadn't this happened while he was trying to save Abby's daughter? Hadn't he done his fair share of protecting Clarke Griffin?

Abby wanted the rest of the story (and a good explanation for why Kane hadn't sent out more rescuers), but this was not the time.

"Abby?"

Jackson's voice drew her out of her thoughts. "He almost died," she revealed. "A little to the left, and half an inch deeper, and Bellamy wouldn't have even made it to the rover."

"Lucky me," Bellamy ground out.

"What's the plan?" Jackson asked.

"Clean it out and try to secure it together in any way we can," Abby answered. "Why don't you clean while I see what I can find?"

Bellamy shifted on the cot, anticipating more pain, not sure he could handle it.

Jackson held out a roll of gauze. "You might want to bite down on this."

Bellamy grasped it, turning it over in his hand (where had they gotten supplies like this? How long would they last?), uncomfortably aware that Jackson was right. He felt straps secure his ankles, hips, and chest. Perfect. Now he didn't even have the illusion of freedom.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the reviews! Hope you enjoy the next chapter! I had intended for this to be more Bellamy/Abby conflict/angst, but then Octavia walked in the door, and it took a completely different direction. Oh well. Such is life.

* * *

The door to medical banged open, and Octavia strode in. "What happened?" she demanded.

"I tried to save Clarke, and a Grounder stabbed me," Bellamy said simply. "What're you doing here?"

"I saw Kane, so I knew you were back. I was walking past when I recognized your screams."

Bellamy flushed. Great. Now half the camp knew how much of an idiot he was. How had he been caught in the first place? He knew better than to walk into a cave and focus all his attention on only one thing.

Octavia's expression and tone softened. "Are you ok?" she asked, kneeling by his head.

"I'm fine."

"Octavia, we have work to do," Abby cautioned.

"On my big brother," Octavia confirmed. "Who might be an ass, but is still my brother and miserable and alone because your daughter _left_ him."

"Octavia," Bellamy warned.

"Sorry." She didn't sound it. "I won't be in the way."

"You don't have to," Bellamy began, " _stay_ ," his voice rose an octave as Jackson brought something cold and searing down on the wound.

"Yes, I do. You need me," Octavia said simply.

She was right, and he knew it. Bellamy gave her a grateful smile before biting down on the gauze.

Octavia stayed as Bellamy's whimpers turned to guttural cries. She smoothed back his sweat-soaked curls, Bellamy spit out the gag. When he fell to piteously begging Abby to "please just let me go," Octavia countered softly, "I won't let anything bad happen to you."

It was the last thing he heard before the blinding white pain disappeared into a blackness that swallowed him.

"I won't let anything bad happen to you, big brother."


	4. Chapter 4

Well, it's been fun! Thank you guys for your very kind reviews. This needed to come to an end, but I have done other stories that try to fill in gaps from the show (The Hunt), and I'm hoping to do more. If you have any suggestions of moments where the episode seemed to be missing important scenes, please send them to me. I'd love to take them on.

* * *

Bellamy didn't know how long he was unconscious, but when he finally opened his eyes he discovered Octavia was still there. "O?"

"Hey Bell," she greeted him softly, all the powerful-grounder-warrior gone from her voice. "Sleep well?"

"I'm not sure," he confessed, pushing himself to a sitting position with a grunt of pain.

"Hey, slow down," Octavia cautioned. "You're not going anywhere any time soon."

He chuckled ruefully. "You sound like me."

"Yes, well, people tend to unconsciously adopt the traits of those they love or admire," Octavia said with a careless shrug. "How're you feeling?"

"A lot better."

"I should hope so. Jackson gave you enough fluids to make you swell like a rotting bod—well, a lot," she amended. "Then Abby whipped something up to keep infections away, but it should make you a bit more comfortable too."

"So they drugged me."

"Pretty much. Is it nice?"

"Yeah, a little bit," Bellamy admitted. "Did they find Clarke?"

"Uh, no. If we're talking about Clarke now I should get Abby. She wanted to know more. Plus, she talked to Kane."

Bellamy bit back a sigh. It had been a long time since Octavia had been so pleasant around him, and while they were alone, nonetheless. Maybe he needed to get stabbed more often. It was almost worth it. "Sure, you can get Abby, but I already told her what I know."

"I thought I heard a man's voice," Abby said cheerfully, poking her head in the door.

"Abby, I told you everything I know," Bellamy blurted out. "Clarke's Wanheda, the Ice Nation wants her, and an Ice Nation guy got her. That's all I know."

Abby nodded, crossing the room. "Kane said the same." Her cheerful manner was gone.

"Did he send people after her?" Bellamy demanded, starting to turn his body toward the side of the bed. "Aughahaha," he gasped.

"Please don't move," Abby requested. "Patching you up was a lot of work."

"Did he? We need to get to her before it's too late."

"I know, Bellamy. Trust me, I know. Clarke and I may have our differences, but she is still my daughter. I want her back just as much as you do."

Bellamy swore he heard Octavia mutter, "doubt it". When he looked at her, she was giving him The Look, and there was no doubt in his mind that she'd spoken. Brat. "Did they find her?"

"No."

Bellamy swore. "I was so close! I _touched_ her. And then… _this_. If I'd just been paying attention—"

"Bellamy, as much as I'd love to blame this on you, it's Clarke's fault," Abby cut him off. "She's paying for her actions and her decision to leave here. If she'd acted differently, or stayed, this wouldn't have happened."

"I could have made her stay," Bellamy realized.

"No one can make Clarke do anything," Abby objected. "She's like her father that way. Now please hold still. I need to make sure nothing has changed since I last checked on you."

Bellamy remained silent and gave Abby complete cooperation while she examined him. She left with a caution to take it easy, an order to stay off his leg for at least two days, and the promise of checking on him again in a few hours.

"She would have stayed," Bellamy said. "If I had asked her to, and I really meant it, she would have."

"But you didn't," Octavia reminded him. "You knew that wasn't what she needed."

Bellamy sighed and rested his head in his hands. "I'm not sure it was the right decision," he confessed.

"You made it for her, and you were right," Octavia reassured him.

"How do you know?"

"Because if you had been thinking of yourself, she'd never have left."

Bellamy lifted his head. "I don't know even that."

"Bellamy, you've had your selfish and ass-like moments," Octavia began. "I won't deny that."

He snorted ruefully.

"But when you think about other people and put them first, like me, or Clarke, or any of the Hundred, you're ultimate the one who suffers, not us."

"Except now Clarke's out there, a prisoner wanted for her blood."

"That is a direct result of Clarke's stupid and selfish choice."

Bellamy managed a smile.

"I'm only going to say this once."

"I'm listening."

"Clarke's an idiot. She doesn't see what you are to her, or what she is to you. IF she had, for just one second, thought about you, she'd be here now. None of this is your fault, and quite honestly, you deserve to be treated better, especially after all you've done for us. That's the last time I'll say it."

Octavia stood and turned to the door.

"O?"

She stopped.

"Thank you for, you know…"

"Staying with you while you cried like a baby?"

Bellamy smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, that."

"I don't think you understand, Bell. I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you. And if it does, and I can't stop it, you're not going to face it alone."

Bellamy blinked back tears. They were different from the ones before. These were ok.

"Plus I wouldn't miss the chance to see the big bad rebel king beg Abby Griffin like a little kid to 'please just let me go.'"

The roll of gauze Bellamy threw chased Octavia from the room.

He lay back down and stared at the ceiling. Was Octavia right? Was he really thinking about Clarke, or had he been too scared to really ask her to stay?

Would she have said "no"? Bellamy preferred not knowing the answer.


End file.
